Home > Analysis, Satire, The Coalition > Vince Cable: Professional Comedian

Vince Cable: Professional Comedian

Vince arrived at the Lib Dem Conference in Liverpool today against the backdrop of a leaked speech to the media in which he criticised Capitalism for killing competition. When he took the podium he tripped, he walked it off with a little smile thus beginning his career as a comedian.

He started listing all the people and groups of society that hate him – there’s actually a lot – and shrugged it off with a classic line: “I must be doing something right.”

And then he started pulling the comedic punches:

But I am told that I look miserable. I’m sorry, conference, this is my happy face. ‘Aren’t you having fun?’ people ask. It isn’t much fun but it’s necessary.

As for real fun, I am introducing dancing classes into the coalition. Unfortunately, I keep treading on Theresa May’s toes and my partners think I have two left feet.

But what is it like being in bed with the Tories? It’s exhausting; it’s exhausting because you have to fight to keep the duvet.

It seems that Vince may have something for Theresa May and her shoe collection – that would be the only reason why one would be interested in Theresa May, is it not?

Then Vince reverted to type and became a typical economist, and a Lib Dem one at that, which ruins my argumentfor Vince being a Professional Comedian – so I shall omit it.

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