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Predictions for 2011

January

Labour win the Oldham East and Saddleworth By-election by more than the 103 votes garnered at the General Election.

Ivory Coast descends into civil war.

The January sales fail to get off the ground come 4th January. The psychological impact is to much for most consumers. Small independent retailers begin reporting losses, as do a few larger retailers.

February

India win the Cricket World Cup, beating England by 46 runs in the final.

March

RPI hits 8%. Bank of England panics and increase the base rate from 0.5% to 1%. Home-owners feel the sting and restrict their consumption on non-necessary items.

The Unions march on London. Anarchists get involved. The Police retaliate with water cannons. Theresa May sanctions the use of rubber bullets. 3 people die.

George Osborne releases his budget and eases the cuts previously delivered in June and October of 2010 in an effort to increase private consumption.

April

The Royal Wedding is disrupted by angry protesters demanding a Republic. Charles declares his abdication to appease the protesters. The Nation mourns the loss of a King they never had.

Afghanistan escalates and Pakistan is formally dragged in to the conflict. The threat to Pakistan increases Nuclear Tension. Doomsday Clock is moved forward to 4 minutes to Midnight.

May

Labour clean up in the local elections. Tories make some advances. All at the expense of the Lib Dems.

The country votes No to AV as most people don’t care and link it to the Lib Dems anyway.

North Korea crosses the De-Militarized Zone. China steps in to avert warfare. Doomsday Clock moved to 3 minutes to Midnight. World is on the brink of a nuclear catastrophe.

June

Spain’s credit rating is reduced to Junk Status. EU and IMF bailout commences. Portugal defaults on its debt.  Markets panic and the  Western world dips back into recession.

Hottest June since records began.

July

America begins an isolationist strategy after the attempted assassination of President Obama and the shock of the Sovereign Debt Crisis. Grain prices (and thus food prices) sky rocket.

EU pushes for further political and economic unity in the wake of America’s isolation and the Sovereign Debt Crisis. Britain has no choice but to accept.

Wettest July since records began. Floods are common place

August

Six Nation talks finally resolve the Korean War. The Korean Peninsula is reunited. The Doomsday clock is moved back to 5 minutes to Midnight. China becomes the new Hyper-Power.

September

The Coalition is experiencing division due to what has happened over the summer recess. Labour capitalise as Ed Miliband has finally found his footing. 15 Lib Dem MPs leave the Coalition and the Lib Dems – reforming the SDP. The remaining Lib Dems are effectively absorbed into the Conservative Party.

October

The British Parliament begins legislating for Gay Marriage and Straight Civil Partnerships. Private Members Bill from a Tory Backbencher.

November

Ken Clarke suffers a stroke and retires from politics. Very sad day. Progress made in the Justice system is reversed as a hard-liner takes his post.

December

Coldest Winter since records began.

Christmas is spent with friends and family. Little is spent on gifts. Homemade becomes the new black.

Growing resentment with Ed Miliband within the Labour Party and Unions for lack of action through the year despite his capitalisation on September’s events.

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